Thursday, February 16, 2012

Calisthenics - Dialogue that Shows Instead of Tells - Week 5

     "I'm getting vanilla.  I don't see how you can stand chocolate!"

     "Well, I love it, and it contains powerful antioxidants!"  I smiled at the clerk and paid for my one scoop of chocolate in a cup.

     She made a face at my chocolate.  "Antioxidants?  Are you afraid you're going to rust?"

     I could see that she thought her comment was funny.  I glanced at her with a hint of amusement in my eyes.  "Maybe your joints wouldn't be so stiff if you'd eat chocolate."

     She scrunched up her face.  "No, thanks!  I much prefer vanilla laced with Advil."

     "Let's walk to Macy*s while we eat."

     "Okay."  She took one glorious lick from the triple scoop vanilla ice cream cone, and then the whole thing just toppled to the floor.  "Well, I wasn't really hungry anyway.  And you shouldn't be eating ice cream either if you ever expect to lose that weight."

     Her comment really pissed me off.  She was a skinny blonde bitch with an adolescent waistline.  Her rib cage had never been permanently stretched out by a growing fetus.  I looked at her with a mixture of pity and anger.  I would take my child and my slightly larger waist any day over her tiny waist.  That is when I decided that she was just too vanilla for me.  Next time, I'd ask Helen to go shopping with me.  She loves chocolate!

1 comment:

  1. Love this exchange! The antioxidants reference is very random but so true... I know I justify my love for dark chocolate because its big in the health community right now for having a lot of antioxidants.

    "I could see that she thought her comment was funny" - don't we all have at least one friend that says stupid shit...and we have to pause for a second and ask ourselves why we are friends with that person? This character is that girl...

    then declaring that she is just too vanilla is a perfect way to wrap up the exchange.

    Great work, IMHO I think you nailed this exercise.

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